The Evening I Was Gay

Saturday, January 20, 2007

The Evening I Was Gay Current mood: pleased 7pm rolls around on Friday evening, and, like other Friday evenings at 7, I begin drinking beer. Well, actually, I begin playing Beirut, which is kinda like drinking beer. Speaking of which, I need to get a new way to start my stories than, "We started playing Beirut." Ok. How about this? New start. I was playing Beirut with Julian. Shit. Nevermind. I will say I actually beat him. We head out to City Tavern at around 9. Now, for those of you that know, City Tavern is visited waaaaay to frequently. However, I've somehow managed to get this far into the new year and last night was only my second time there. And there's a new tactic now...instead of going there and staying there, I use it as an extended pre-party before I go elsewhere. Chris the bartender knows us and gives free drinks, so it works for this guy. Best moment from City is when Julian's friend looks and me and says, "everytime I see you two, you're always just a few steps ahead of everyone else." I tell him.... That's cause we start playing Beirut at 7. Worst moment of City is when I get a telephone call that I answer. I get asked a question and respond how I normally wouldn't because I'm a little tossed. I don't know if what I said was good, bad or neutral, but I do certainly wish I could pick apart the day and put the pieces back together my way, with that phone call not in it. I jump in the cab and head to Azul to meet Christina (funky straight hair and sassy dress), Brigid (backless top again!), Tamara (styishly styled in necktie as usual), Aliza (the prep look suits with the sweater) and a host of others. Hadn't been to this place before, but it's preeeetty preeettty prettty pretty good. I get there and everyone is housed already. This place is in an alley, big glass windows facing it, high ceilings, long bar. The music is steadily good. Aliza looks at me and says, "I was so high when you came over to Zena and Tiff's the other night." My response is that I know how we can duplicate that situation right now. We step outside, much to the dismay of some people I know, and manage to get away with smoking right in front of the bar. Don't ask me how I get away with this so frequently and so publicly, because I do not know. Aliza and T, still not used to what I carry, get fucking ripped. Again. At this point, I'm slurring and noticeably stumbling around (even to myself) and I notice Brigid and Christina walking down the street away from the bar in their coats. Um? Hello? Are you leaving? Apparently, they've decided to leave. I find out it's in order to meet someone at another bar that someone might have a certain interest in. I'm a bit incredulous...I don't think I can handle another bar right now. Tough shit I'm told. Get in the cab, I'm told. So I get in, and as we head across town, I'm told that because there's two guys where we're going, and they want Christina to look available for one of them so that they can run game on the other one. In order to do this, I'm informed that they've informed these two gentlemen that I'm their gay friend. Oh realllllly? Yes, really. They also kindly let me know that not only do I have to not flirt or appear interested in Christina, but I can't talk to other girls because that'll blow the whole story. So now, not only am I very drunk, very high, but I'm also preparing myself to appear uninterested in women, which, for me is difficult in any state, let alone a faded one. As we get to the bar, the two guys are outside waiting for us, shake my hand and immediately ignore me and start in on their two headed game. Honestly, two guys would never have done that if they thought I was straight. They would have shown a little tact. But no, I felt disrespected. I wanted to put my hand on Christina's breast and laugh at the fool who thought he was doing a good job flirting. But I held it down. I amused myself by taking pictures. And not looking at girls. And that is really hard. I was thanked afterwards for an excellent performance that exceeded expectations. I did break character a few times when I caught Christina in the bathroom line, but the chump didn't see, so it worked. I manage to once again remember my credit card, I don't lose anything, and I make it home in one piece. Now it's off to Nini's, and preparations begin to start over again this evening. I'd love to offer predictions, but with the night I just had, who knows.