Thanks for 15 Years Barry, Now Get the Hell Out

Baseball season is over. It seems like only yesterday we were celebrating the return of baseball season, the spring, the summer, the grass, the bbqs, the beers, the warm weather and trips to the ballpark. The garlic fries, Crazy Crabz sandwiches, overpriced beers, beautiful views, and, in this sad case, Giants late inning losses in close games.

But this year, that's not what really gets me about the end of the season. This year, after 15, the Giants have decided they won't be bringing Barry Bonds back. They've marketed this as a way to rebuild, focus on the young players in the system, and rid themselves of the distraction that Bonds can sometimes (ok, always) create. The problem is, they've tried to sell the fans on something that really, when you look carefully, doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

1) Spin: We're doing this for the financial impact of Bonds' contract on the team. Fact: Bonds does take up a lot of money (15.8 million this season to be exact), but aside from him and Zito, it's not like the Giants do the roster spending the Red Sox and Yankees do. It's also not like we don't have the money to pay him...they probably brought in 15 million in memorabilia sales of his 756 chase alone.

2) Spin: We're doing this for the production of the team. Fact: By getting rid of Bonds, the Giants are in one fell swoop getting rid of their team home run leader, 2nd in doubles, highest slugging percentage, 2nd in RBIs, and one of the highest on base percentages in the entire NL, not to mention the entire league. How do they expect to boost the production of the team by getting rid of their most productive offensive player?

3) Spin: We're doing this because Bonds is done as a player. He's too old and his legs are tired. Fact: See (2) above, then consider that he also had 5 stolen bases this year to go along with a year in which he had only one stretch of time missed due to injury (sprained toe, the last two weeks of the season), and only needed moderate rest for his legs.

4) Spin: We're doing this because it's logical business sense. Fact: Who puts more people in the seats at the stadium? Bonds. Who sells the most memorabilia? Bonds. Who makes you the most money? Bonds. And getting rid of him makes logical sense how?

5) Spin: We're doing this to give our young players a chance. Fact: Don't you need your most productive, most experienced players to help mold your young players in order to give them the chance? They're getting rid of one of the most seasoned and most accomplished veterans in the game.

So there you have it...when you look at any and every reason the Giants claim for getting rid of Barry after 15 amazing seasons, the all-time home run king, All-Stars, Golden Gloves, etc, every reason falls short. If you're going to cut one of the most beloved Giants in SF history, just be honest...you don't want to pay him what he wants and you don't want the distraction of him being around. Say that, it's ok, be real. But to try to sell the decision of getting rid of Barry to the SF public by claiming that it's in the best interests of the team fiscally and athletically is just plain nonsense.

Look at the failure of the Giants to get back to the post-season since the World Series collapse. Is it due to hitting? Is it due to defense? No, it's due to the fact that since that collapse, a loss to the Angels due to shoddy bullpen relief and a suspect closing situation, Sabean, for all his genius bringing in experienced, productive players, has done absolutely nothing to bolster the bullpen roster. The most significant pitching signing he's done (and I'm not talking Lincecum and Zito here, I'm talking bullpen) is sign Armando Blownitez. And look how that turned out.

Finally, there's one more thing today that makes me ashamed to be a Giants fan. Apparently the decision to get rid of Bonds was made long before the season came to a close. Yet, they didn't announce it when they made it, thereby failing to give Giants fans an adequate opportunity to say goodbye to the guy that for many of us, especially in our age bracket, is the Giants and has been since we were 10. I was fortunate enough to be able to attend his last game, but many weren't, or didn't know they were seeing him for the last time when they did.

Is it not enough that they injured him by giving his farewell tour with the Giants short shrift? Apparently not, because in his final game in a Giants uniform, when the last pitch was thrown, the video tribute to Bonds came on. A lovely highlight reel, to be sure. But when that ended, there were no fireworks, no speeches, and most of all, no Bonds. That's right, after 15 years in our city, with all the support that no other city in America would have given him, the Giants didn't bring Barry out for one last speech.

If it was the Giants' decision, it is one of the worst possible PR moves imaginable and only further demonstrates how we're willing to treat our sports heroes when we don't view them as valuable to a franchise anymore. The Niners did it with Rice and Montana, why shouldn't the Giants have their aging hero mistake as well?

Is it possible that Bonds, in anger over the decision to cut him and the timing of the announcement, decided not to come out? Sure. If that was his decision, he hurt his fans tremendously, as Topher and I talked on the phone two hours after we had left the stadium about how disappointed we felt over the lackluster and sorry end of the Bonds era. But even if it was his decision, with the way the Giants front office bought him for the home run chase, chewed him up for the memorabilia and now are spitting him out once the goal has been accomplished, can you really blame him?

So Barry, thanks for the memories. No matter what the front office says or does, the people of San Francisco appreciate your contribution, and all I can do going forward is to hope that for the Giants and SF sports, this is a low point for how they've treated and lied to the fans and mistreated an aging star, and we can only go up from here.

On the upside, it should give us the ability to sign A-Rod so we can use him and kick him out disrespectfully once he's broken Bonds' record ten years from now. For those interested, here's the farewell video they played for him...

Wedding Dancing

Wedding Dancers

Thai Dance 1

Thai Dance 2

A Wedding in Time Saves Nine

So what do you even begin to say about a wedding where the venue itself is so amazing that you come home with close to 300 pictures? Where the food spans four continents? Where butterflies roam free and attach themselvesthe guests? The problem with this wedding, and the venue, is that so much of it defies any sort of rational attempt at description, that it makes the finished blog product but a mere shadow of the wedding itself.

This past Saturday, Dad and his partner of 10 years, Kathleen, tied the knot. Why they decided to join the hordes to become man and wife is beyond me, but more power to them. And hey, in the end, it was an absolutely kick ass party, so who am I to complain?

You start with the venue...25 acres in the Saratoga Hills...this property has 2 swimming pools, 2 art galleries, 2 homes of different sizes (think single family homes here), a tennis court, apricot orchard, sculpture garden, and four terraced levels of granite and marble with various art and sculptures. Add in a traditional loggia and multiple fountains throughout the property, and about the only thing you can say is some sort of Disneyland for adults and rich folks. The problem is, you can't take pictures of the property. Why? Well, everything you want to take a picture of is on such a grand scale that it won't fit in a camera frame. Then, once you step back far enough to fit it in a picture, you're so far back that the grandiosity of the subject is lost. Call it a problem in scale. And for those of you interested, here are some of the pictures that were taken during construction.

For guests, there's not a whole lot anyone here would know...the family showed up of course (both my Dad's sisters, his brother, mom, etc)...friends of both bride and groom, and we rounded out the youth party with Sis, Murphy, Chaz, his date Sarah, Gavroche and FSU.

The wedding starts at five with saketini's and the opportunity to roam the 2 galleries and sculpture garden on the property. This collection has been called "one of the, if not the finest private collections in North America." At six, we move down to the Loggia for the actual ceremony that lasts about twenty minutes or so (short and sweet, just how I like my wedding ceremonies). After this, they head up to the middle level for a butterfly release and dinner. The butterfly release doesn't work out as planned, in that they don't really scatter, and there's not a ton of them. But it ends up working better than planned as three or four of the butterflies find their way onto Kathleen's bouquet and stay there for the majority of the evening.

The theme of the wedding is "Around the World in Our Golden Years" because in their ten years together they have traveled extensively. So appropriately, the meal is themed for world fare, with tables for Hawaii, Tangiers, and Thailand among others. Lamb, salmon, prawns, oysters and much more. Furthermore, every table's theme has a gift that people can take home with them.

When dinner finishes, there are two dances performed by traditional Thai dancers. Following that, it's a dance by the married couple before the loggia is cleared of its ceremony chairs and set-up to be transformed into what Kathleen has called the "Diva Lounge." At this point, the guests turn into dancers, a chocolate fountain with strawberries and pretzels is brought out for dessert, and it starts to become possible to slip away on the property to enjoy some js.

When we get back to the hotel, we crash the wedding suite to hook the man up with a little gift courtesy of the LoveShack...a hash oil smeared joint dipped in hash nuggets. Talk about a trick to get you lifted. But the post-party doesn't last long as we get evil eyes from the bride who wants to take advantage of her wedding night.

So there you have it. An unimaginable wedding in an indescribable venue summed up into a few pedestrian paragraphs and some accompanying pictures. Talk about making a long story short. Actually, this wedding is going to take more 1 entry...Pictures in this post will be wedding party and guests, see the Shangri-la post for pictures of just the ranch, and see the Wedding Dancers for the videos.

Pictures here: Chaz and his date at the fountain, Toby and the Bride walking the aisle, new best friends S and FSU, dinner powwow with Chaz, S and Gavroche, I can walk on water, Head Honcho showing me the Gold Room, Chaz and I, my butterfly, the beautiful Bride and her bouquet of butterflies, S and FSU with their new friend Achilles, the fellas, Chaz and I get a good laugh, Gavroche, Chaz and myself, Dad w/myself, S, FSU, Gavroche, Sis and I in the aisle, Gavroche and I discussing the finer merits of the hash dipped j, you may kiss the bride, Gavroche and Chaz, a butterfly bouquet.

Shangri-La

Shangri-la
It's the only way to describe the OGR (Ole' Grandview)...Even pictures, that we've all heard say a thousand words a piece, can't even come close to doing this property justice. Do the math: 25 acres, 2 art galleries, 2 pools, 5 fountains (that I counted), 750 apricot trees, 8700 backyard lights, 2 reflecting pools, 1 loggia, 2 homes, 3 car garage, 1 tennis court, 1 sculpture garden, 1 movie theater, structural concrete totaling 30,000 square feet of concrete, 1 cave lion. You read me. A cave lion.

ANTM: A New Season

Wednesday night marked the return of ANTM, otherwise known as America's Next Top Model for its 9th cycle. People have ridiculed me frequently for watching this show. That's ok by me, I'm not the one that watches such hits as Grey's Anatomy, Scrubs and American Idol, you friggin losers.

I watch this show for several reasons...first off, it gives you an interesting look into the grooming and creation of a model. But it also provides my feminism/sociology background with fascinating points of views from watching these girls interact, try to live socially, and compete at the same time. I also take great enjoyment in the artistic work that goes into the photo shoots (admittedly probably my biggest draw to the show).

At any rate, these girls are always good for a sound byte or two...here are some of my favorites from this week's season premiere:

- "When pretty girls have stanky attitudes like that, it irks me." - Bianca. (Yea, tell me about it Bianca, this is a pet peeve of mine too.)

- "I want to be ANTM because I think it would be so much fun and I'd be so good at it." - Mila, 20, Boston (how are you good at being a winner on a show? you can't be good at being ANTM, you can only be good at being a model)

- "I'm not really worried. I think that I have something that no other girl has. I don't know what it is, but there's something. There's something." - Chantal, Austin, TX (Well, whatever she has that no other girl has, it's not the strength of specificity.)

- Also from Chantal: "This is my dream and it's here in my face." (Boom!)

- "I think that I should be ANTM because I have a fire and passion inside me that I'm not going to be a bartender for the rest of my life. I was meant to be ANTM." - Jennifer, 24, Walpole, MA (Good goal Jennifer, but really, is ANTM your only way out of bartending?)

- "I really didn't believe this was going to happen. It was like, 'Oh my God.'" - Heather, 21, Valparaiso, IN (Apparently, Valley Girls can also be from Valparaiso, IN)

And now to hear from the girls of the original 33 that didn't make the cut down to 13:

- "I guess I'll just have to deal with questions for the rest of my life, 'Are you a model?' And I'll just die a little bit inside when I say no." - Sylvia, 23, New Hyde Park, NY (now that's a sad thought. I died a little inside from laughing so hard when she said this)

- "I have to go back home. I have to go back to school, I have to go back to my job, and I don't want to." - Sabrina, 18, Cerritos, CA (wow. welcome to reality Sabrina, where people have to learn and work and eventually not be on a tv show forever. tough brakes kid.)

And finally...

- I wanna get out of where I'm at. I'm trying to get out of my old life. I really want this. This is my only way out." - Marvita, 23, Anchorage, AK. (Nothing funny to say here...Marvita was one of my favorites for her stylish cross between Naima and Eva of cycles past, and her emotional appeal. This girl had been passed around from family member to family member, having endured a childhood of abuse and rape. I really wanted her to get on, and they cut her. Luckily, she was strong enough from the other ordeals of her life that she didn't cry like the other girls. I wanted to throw the remote at the TV when she didn't make it.)

So there you have it...more sound bytes from these lovely ladies to come.

Where Ocean Meets Land and Earth Meets Sea

I watched as the reality of bloated and overfloated scenes
infiltrated my dreams,
filling them up and then busting them at the seams,
spilling my half collected thoughts and memories into a puddle
that grew to a stream.

And the stream came to a roar,
the last gasping breaths of my dreamland ideas
spilled out on the floor,
gasping for air like dying fish,
flopping around with their flying wish
for one more minute,
one more chance to live,
a fantasy towards which to strive

But the concrete actuality took my drive,
and the sun that I couldn't ignore shone down,
evaporating the dreams back into air and sound,
to be rained and sprinkled and poured onto me again
as the swollen clouds of night return to be my friend.

Bachelor People

Saturday night, after watching in a daze as Notre Dame got beat up again, and then having life and the world around me return back to normal as my hated rival UCLA got crushed by unranked Utah, USC put the hurt on Nebraska in Nebraska, we moved the party up to the city to Palomino as requested for Dad’s Bachelor Party. We’ve got a crew of about 12 for dinner…Marc, JK, Topher, Damie, Exile, Daw, Ballin, Chaz, Gavroche, myself and of course the man of the hour, Pops.

The dinner is phenomenal…we get appetizer orders of potato crisps in gorgonzola and a king crab/artichoke dip. I follow that up with lobster ravioli which is spectacular. What is not spectacular, however, is the service. After being seated, when the waiter finally does come over twenty minutes later, he takes our drink, appetizer and entrée orders all at the same time. Fine dining what? The food, the drinks, the check-ups are all incredibly slow to come, and often, you need to ask several times before our server remembers something. But hey, he gets the 103 dollar tip on the automatic gratuity, so what does he care, right?

I think one of the best moments comes when the check arrives and Dad gets to sit there without reaching for his wallet. I don’t remember the last time I saw him that pleased.

After dinner, we head back to 3E for Beirut on a dual table set-up. In the first round, Pops and I, with him playing only his third Beirut game ever, push Team Damie to the end and lose by a cup. But how can you not be proud of a 55 year old Dad sinking ping pong balls with you?! It’s your standard fare with the usual suspects…I get to bed around 3:30 or so, but not before cleaning up all the red cups and watching last week’s premiere of Always Sunny in Philly again.

Most importantly, though, a great group of people got together and had a very good time sending off the man into his new soon to be married life. It wasn’t your typical bachelor party…no naked women being paid to degrade themselves or revel in their own sexuality (depending on your point of view, of course), no borderline activity that would need to be confessed before the taking of the nuptials, no end to the evening with the guest of honor face down in a gutter for anyone that doesn't know my Dad, that's just not his style…just a group of people coming together to honor a guy that has brought them friendship and joy over the years. It felt amazing to know that someone who has had such a huge impact on my life had touched the lives of my friends in a way that would prompt the outpouring of goodwill and merry making on that level in honor of his wedding. Big thanks to all of you for helping to make my Dad’s bachelor party a success…I know he really enjoyed himself, and I’m pretty sure the rest of us did too.

Congratulations Dad, and best wishes for your future with KT!

Next up…The Wedding.
Pictures: Coach and Fiance in monochrome, Topher and Marc, Chaz and Gavroche, Pops and myself, Damie, Gavroche/Exile/Daw, Ballin and I.

Apples and Oranges

Friday night, I get into some usual trouble, taking FSU to meet ChengJ, JK, Marc and the Marina. After walking around aimlessly for 15 minutes, trying to decide on a bar everyone could agree on, we go into Mauna Loa. Approaching the Marina, FSU was pretty sure the only bar in the Marina she really likes is Mauna Loa. Five minutes inside has her changing her mind, remembering why she doesn’t like the Marina at all. There’s no question I feel back in college, worried that at any minute a drunken fraternity member will run around the side of the bar to give me a titty twister or slap me on the back so hard my drink ends up in my nostrils. We don’t last long there before we make the hop to Hot Pants at the Cat Club.

Once there, we meet up with T, T-ish, Margaret, Lina from the Carol, Za, McButter and a few others. It’s the standard scene, the 80s in the front, hip-hop in the rear and joints in the smoking alley. I’ve now, however, learned the trick of sending other people up to buy my drinks, as I noticed a few trips ago that being a guy tacks on a dollar or two to the cost of my drinks. In the alley, I meet this excellent girl named, now get this…no alias here…Sigh. Sigh! How cool a name is that!? She seems like a chiller, partakes of the tokes with us, and when FSU has to come back to the alley to get me because Sigh and I have started up a conversation and started exchanging phone numbers, she’s more than a little confused. I think she’s just not sure why anyone who’s just met me would want my phone number, let alone actually program it into a phone. But at this point, I’m not exactly coherent, just being friendly, and as confused as she is, and head back inside.

Sterling moment of the night comes when Patrick, the long-haired Asian fellow who owns the building, actually spots and remembers me for once. Now ever since meeting this guy and smoking in his office upstairs, I’ve seen him sporadically in the club. I always make an effort to say hello, he recognizes me and returns it. But this time, he actually approaches me and we start in on a long, hilarious conversation that right now I surely don’t remember any part of. When I get done and turn around, FSU, Za, McButter and T are looking at me with this, “who the fuck was that random dude, and how do you know him?” look. “Oh that guy? He’s the owner, we’re cool.” I love it.

It was a solid Friday night. If you’re looking to go out, have several drinks, dance, enjoy yourself and not worry about being harassed or having other people think you’re harassing them, I strongly suggest the Cat Club over Mauna Loa. But hey, that’s just me. Don't get me wrong, there's a time and a place for everything, and when I love the Marina I love it, but if I have to send my evening somewhere blind, I know where it'll be.

Pictures: McButter and myself, ChengJ/JK/Marc on the trek to Mauna Loa, Za and McButter a bit hilarious, Za and I, the smoking alley, T and Za share some words, me a bit delirious with FSU.