Fore!

Friday night was nice and easy…dinner out at Mercury, chill City, and a little babysitting duty (but no names to avoid further embarrassment!). When I wake up on Saturday en route to Nini’s and call Topher, I come to find that AR’s birthday celebration is happening, and once again it’s golfing time! To see what this golf thing is all about, read about the last time I had 12 Hours of Drinking.

I rally Hessica and we head to the first hole, Bar None, at 4pm. The idea here is that par at a bar is 2 beers, 1 mixed drink or 1 shot. It’s AR, Gies, Topher, Boyle, Paolo, Marc and a crew of AR’s friends, the majority of which I have never met. By the time the entire golf crew is assembled, we’re numbering around 20 or so. I start off on the right foot by birdying the first hole before we move on to Blue Light.

Blue Light is significantly more crowded, and we don’t help matters with the size of our crew. I’m hoping to put two more away, but the time limit for this one is shorter and I get accosted and dragged into a hostile conversation against my will. I’m all for argument and debate, especially if only for debate’s sake, but I can’t stand being involved in a “conversation” where one party doesn’t want to listen to anything that’s being said, nor take into consideration a different point of view. This is the type of conversation that I’m held in for the majority of the Blue Light time. It takes away my thirst and leaves me a seething, frustrated individual. I resolve to no longer talk to someone who steamrolls an entire conversation and arrogantly believes everything they say is correct without any supporting evidence. It is a decision that may prove to salvage me yet, and certainly helps keep me out of trouble for the rest of the evening.

By the time we move on to City Tavern, it’s only edging on 7pm, which, considering I’m four drinks deep already is a cause of concern. Here I birdie again, manage to avoid any more unpleasant conversations, and watch Oregon finish off ASU. It’s a little strange to be in City Tavern at a time when parents are there with their children. I almost feel like the kids are in a spot to be corrupted. And our crew coming in during the middle of dinner doesn’t help.

Finally, we end up across the street at Kelly’s where Chaz and Gavroche meet us, the scorecards are tallied, and I lose even after making eagle. It serves me right though, because I can’t shoot, and even as the bartender is pouring me free shots and flirting with me, all I can do is pass them to Chaz when she isn’t looking and smile. I tell her she’s mean, which I almost think she takes as a compliment. At this point, I’m on the verge of losing coherency, and don’t have really any clue what time it is. The bar is filling up and a girl calls me over when she thinks I’m talking shit about her. I explain to her that really, I was telling Hessica that she must think we’re ass holes, so I was actually talking shit about us.

What I don’t remember about this bar until I talk with Chaz about it the next day is that I apparently got a little too close to the door with a lit J for the bouncer’s liking, he grabbed me, took the j out of my mouth, threw it on the ground and told me to never come back. I guess some people just don’t like the green…I mean, all he had to do was ask me to move. He tells them that they need to take me elsewhere. I hope he doesn't remember me next week!

Golf comes to a close and we skip to another part of town for Windy’s birthday party where it’s about 20-30 people celebrating at her apartment. I finish off the last of the 7 js at this point, squawk gibberish for a good portion of the time and take a ton of pictures. Again, I have no idea what time it is when we leave here and head to Mel’s, where I finish off the night with a vanilla malt, tuna melt and fries with mayonnaise. I’m told that after I get home, I speak in tongues while claiming that I’m totally awake. Now THAT’S the kind of ending I like to an evening!

Pictures: Gies and the birthday girl, the other birthday girl of the night, the golf crew on the corner, golf girls, Gavroche and Hessica, Windy blows out her candles, my standard post-golf look (where are my eyes exactly?)