Thanks for Breaking In

I knew things weren't right when I saw the screens popped off my windows. Then when I saw that you had left my bedroom window wide open, I knew that some worthless cowardly piece of shit assholes had come in today to help themselves to a bunch of things that didn't belong to them.

So do you know me? Did you know you were gonna get a 46" LCD HD TV and you decided it was worth fucking me over so I can't watch the inauguration tomorrow? Or did you just pick an easy ground floor apartment to see what you could get? My roommate's 7 year old iBook was a nice score, I guess...She's glad you didn't take what was on the bed stand table though. Although you should have tried it on your ass, you were already fucking us over, you might as well have done yourself in the process.

So the TV, I can deal with that. That's why I have renter's insurance, because you never know when a flood, or maybe a lowlife burgler is going to attack. But dude, you took my roommate's jewelry, most of which was family heirloom stuff that she can't replace and is worth far less to you. My universal remote? I spent two weeks programming it, so you're not even going to know how to use it. Especially without the instruction manual, which you left here.

You didn't want the digital camera that was on the table? Apparently not, but you helped yourself to my 300Gig external hard drive. Now, the hard drive I can replace, but the 5 years of digital photos that you took on it mean jack shit to you or whoever you're going to pawn my Kanguru hard drive off on, those are gone for good. 5 years of images and memories, fucker. But, the worst part is this...YOU LEFT THE AC ADAPTER. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PLUG IT IN? Did you even know what you were stealing, or did it just look portable and expensive?

I guess I can thank you for leaving my DVD library intact, my entire AV set-up (and my HD tivo, I could actually kiss you for leaving for me), and thankfully my medicinal stash so I didn't have to not blaze after the police left and listen to music looking at the hole where my tv used to be. I really wanted to watch 24 tonight, ass.

So my missed connection is with you, today, red-handed in my apartment. I almost came home early. And your missed connection is with the rest of humanity. If you want to regain some dignity and show a bit of human compassion, return my hard drive with my pictures on it. You can't even use it without the power plug and it means a lot to me. You can still keep my TV! What a deal! I'd be willing to forget the rest of this whole mess for that hard drive. You can leave it outside my front door, you know the one...you left it open when you walked out of here with our things.

Karma does come around friend. Yours will find you eventually. I hope your score at my place today means you don't have to rob someone else tomorrow. Take a day off, check out our new President...the picture on that television is excellent!