Welcome Back Models!

While it feels like it's been a while since ANTM came across my TiVo screen, in reality they do two cycles a year, so it can't have been that long. However, regardless of the length of time, the models are back for cycle 12, and as usual, the first 2 hour episode had some hilarious and absolutely ridiculous quotes and doings by these model wannabes.

My first thought, when Tyra came out to the original 34 contestants last night was, "Does Tyra just need to continually put herself in the screaming limelight of masses of 18-25 year old girls?" Between her talk show and ANTM, it seems like Tyra gave up modeling but just can't seem to give up the desire to be famous, wanted and revered as a god by people around her. Sure, she makes a great deal of money, but as a world famous super model for a few decades, she didn't already have that? Something tells me that the day Tyra wakes up, looks in the mirror and realizes the public isn't clamoring for her anymore might be a very lonely one.

As usual, we got some very interesting potential models in the first episode. Here are some of the better quotes:

Monique, 21 of Telluride, CO had this to say: "I think I have a different personality than most anyone else. I'm very involved in politics. I guess you could call me a conspiracy theorist." Not surprisingly, she was booted off in the first 14 to go. Guess her whole rant about the "Elite 300" in the house and her explanation as to why Pearl Harbor was set-up in advance to the judges didn't earn her a spot at the table. Good luck in politics though! Although, not in raising a family..."My personal belief is I will never bring a kid into this world because I think the world is goin' to hell." Of course, once kicked off, she said that she'd be back next year. One can always hope.

Then we have London, an 18 year old Jesus freak from Arlington, TX. She says, "I'm a model with a mission...with that I can spread His name in this industry, which honestly, there isn't a lot of." Hello?!?! It's the Model and Fashion industry! You think that anyone in there wants religion? There isn't a lot of it because people in the industry are the exact ones that either see through the façade of religion or have been outcast by the ridiculous views on homosexuality and sexuality the churches hold. I suggest going back to Arlington where people love Jesus.

In one of the more courageous stories of personal triumph, Tahlia, 18, of Phoenix AZ made the show. At 8 months old her mom left her in a room with a dangling cord connected to a coffee pot. She pulled it down onto herself. After 14 surgeries to repair burns, she's understandably scared and looking to prove that you can overcome that and succeed at whatever you want.

Of course, in a big let down, they also cast a girl with epilepsy. Isabella, 19, from Barboursville, VA. Having never seen an epileptic seizure and being deathly afraid of ever seeing one, I thought this would be a good chance to see one from afar, because surely if she's on there for 12 weeks she'll end up having at least one. She got kicked off last night, so no luck there.

What's worse is that she got kicked off instead of Sandra, a self-righteous piece of shit from the East Coast and originally from Kenya. She's the one in the group who thinks she's better than everyone else because she's from a different country, and yet she only walked half way down the catwalk in her first runway show, and her photo shoot was god awful. I was hoping against hope that she would be the first to go (and so too were all the other models in the show, apparently) but no such luck.

My favorite so far is Fo, 19, from Albequerque, NM. She immediately told the judges when asked about her ethnicity that she's "Blaxican." Love it.

Rich girl Natalie, 19, from Palos Verdes, CA, "I was pretty spoiled as a child, and I'm really confident in my chances, I don't think any of the other girls have a look like I do. I think I have one of the strongest looks here." Wondering if maybe her being spoiled has something to do with her confidence here.

By far the funniest line I heard came from a girl who made the final 13 and is actually a former girlfriend of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. This is Kortnie, 24, from Houston, TX...."Your body is a temple and sometimes my temple wants cheesecake."

In the weird department, we have Allison, 20, from New Orleans, LA. "I'm really interested in hemophilia." Her fascination with blood goes so far that she's upset she's never had a nose bleed in her life.

Finally, in the award category for self-discovery, we have Teyona, 20, from Woodstown, NJ "When I was younger I didn't really think I was that pretty, then as I got older, I started realizing, "Oh Teyona, you are fine girl!"

Should be one interesting season.