New Year, New Couple

Some people have weddings. Other people have events. And some weddings turn into events. Such was the case on New Year's Eve when 2008 was about to arrive, a wedding was planned, and the event happened to be taking place at the San Francisco Zoo just a week after they shut down following the Tiger attack. (editors note: If you taunt a tiger, and crawl over a fence and into its pen and throw stuff at it, you probably deserve to be attacked)

So it was at about 7 pm when we boarded a bus that would take us to the zoo. Coach and EdeJ had been wedded shortly before in Bgame, and following the attacks, the Police Commissioner, head of the zoo and Mayor of the city all conference called to decide that the show had to go on. Held at the great hall, the wedding, and by extension New Year's, was fantastic.

When most people wondered who would have their wedding on New Year's, I wondered who wouldn't want to have their already festive occasion bolstered by one of the biggest party nights of the year. When most people wondered why I would even want to go to a wedding on New Year's, I wondered what could be better than a) not having to decide on plans with 40 different friends all wanting to do 40 different things, b) not having to shell out $150+ for dinner/drinks/hotel room if necessary, c) having free, sober transportation home and d) free food and drinks. Sounds like a win/win situation to me.

When we got up there, Hessica and I attacked the appetizers, and the bar. And this was no skimpy bar...with Don Julio and Cazadores on tap for everyone, the shot taking commenced immediately. Dinner at the Star Wars character themed tables (I sat at Qui-Gon Jinn) quickly turned into drinking contests (at least at my table) that involved trips to the bar with one shot at the bar and another to bring back to the table. Some of you a reading this right now and laughing at the idea that I would be taking shots of anything, but there are numerous witnesses...I shot Don Julio straight throughout the evening.

As midnight came closer, the party, most definitively a wedding reception, morphed slowly into a New Year's celebration as they brought out NYE party favors/hats, etc. Champagne was somewhere, but I was still shooting tequila so I didn't really pay attention. At this point, the bartender knows how I want my shots (with the lime in them if I'm going to the table, and the lime handed to me if I'm shooting at the bar). When it's time to call all single guys to the dance floor to catch the garter, I'm trashed and stand far in the back to avoid being in the scuffle. When I see Coach turn around before throwing the garter, he looks all over, makes eye contact with me and starts to throw. I'm too faded to realize that the punk is intentionally throwing it directly at me. Avoiding catching it becomes impossible as it lands in my hand. I walk around for the rest of the evening with the garter around my sleeve. This seems like a good idea.

When the bus finally comes, we get on. I have no memory of this mind you. The first thing I remember after leaving the zoo is the opening my eyes as the bus stops in Bgame and realizing that I'm going to throw up. This pisses me off as it could have been avoided had I not closed my eyes on the bus to begin with. In an angry rage, I run behind the hotel and spend five minutes making sure my feet don't get dirty. I come back to the front and manage to take some very nice post-evening pictures. People are trying to make sure I'm ok, but I'm more mad that I threw up than anything else. Hessica calls the cab, which says 20 minutes to get there. I tell her we're close enough to walk. Little do I realize that rather than at the Hyatt, near the Broadway overpass, where I think we are, we're like a mile further down. About halfway through the walk, Hessica accuses me of taking us the wrong direction. I tell her we're fine, almost there. She gets angry and crosses the street to ignore me. I spend five minutes walking and yelling across the street at her to come back to my side.

At home, we watch a Wire before passing out. I wake up, on the couch, at 9 am, hammered, and spend the next hour and a half stumbling around my apartment and showering, trying to sober up. By about 12 I'm hung over, and by 2 I'm into the SC beat down of Illinois and feeling pretty good about life.

So that's how I rang in the New Year. Debauchery devilish deeds with Don Julio. Even the Chronicle was there with a write up of the wedding and several pictures, three of which had either myself or Hessica in the background. Congratulations to the newlyweds (snowboarding somewhere in Canada right now), and welcome to 2008!